Letter to our pets

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years, canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is:

Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's Bum. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.

(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.

(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

I know I am a groomer when....

•My dog’s nails are better cared for than mine

•I can’t remember the last time I went to the hairdresser, but I can’t stand it if I see a stray hair on a dog.

•I come home from work and my dogs sniff me like their favourite tree

•I have complete conversations with my dogs

•I pat someone’s dog and catch myself feeling for matts

•I see a good-looking guy walking his dog in the park and I’m checking out the dog’s haircut

•I spend half an hour each evening picking the dog’s hair out of my elbows, arms, etc.

•I place the value of a retail item based on the number of dogs groomed to make that amount of money e.g. ” That outfit is too expensive, it’s a four dog suit.”

•I catch myself growling when I’m angry

•My dog has a better haircut than I do

•I recognize the dog in the street before the owner

•My client’s dogs come to visit me without their owners

•Unless someone barks or meows I don’t hear them

•People that come into the shop judge how busy we are by the amount of hair in the bin, on us and on the floor

•I refer to my dogs as the “kids”

•Weekends are one day in length and even then someone calls you to see if you can do his or her dog today

•I find hair in places I didn’t know I had places

•I drop a pair of scissors and I cringe

•I know to aim the anus away from my face

•I know that the most annoying feeling is a hair splinter

•I get really excited at trade shows

•I have all the necessary gear at home to do touch-ups on my own dogs

•I have the right answers for my friends’ pet problems

•I advise friends on what breeds’ to/not to consider buying based on how each breed tends to behave while being groomed

20 reasons your pet’s haircut costs more than yours

1. Your hairdresser doesn't give you a bath
2. You don't go for weeks at a time without washing or brushing your hair
3. You don't roll in nasty things before seeing your hairdresser
4. Your hairdresser doesn't have to pluck or clean your ears
5. Your hairdresser doesn't have to de-matt your hair
6. You sit still for your hairdresser
7. Your haircut doesn't include a manicure or pedicure
8. Your hairdresser only cuts the hair on your head
9. You don't try to scratch your hairdresser
10. Your hairdresser doesn't give you a sanitary trim
11. You don’t generally sneeze in your hairdressers face
12. Your hairdresser doesn’t remove dried poop that is stuck on your backside
13. Your hairdresser doesn't wipe goobers from your eyes
14. Your hairdresser does not remove fleas or ticks
15. You don't try to bite the clippers, scissors, brush, nail clippers, dryer or hairdresser


16. It doesn't take 3 people to trim your nails
17. When your hairdresser blow dries your hair it doesn’t end up all over them and the whole store
18. Your hairdresser doesn't brush your teeth
19. You don't howl or bark while having your hair cut
20. The likelihood of you peeing or pooping while having your hair cut is slim

Very cute video.

This dog is super cute and obviously wondering why this stranger will not play with him!

Great Funny video with well trained dogs!

I wonder how long this took them and how many takes it took to get right!

Abandoned piglet saved by Ridgeback

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1210909/Abandoned-piglet-lost-hound-Giant-farm-dog-saves-baby-pigs-bacon-adopting-own.html

Check out this lovely story!

Naughty Dog Breeds

As seen in The Sunday Mail - Feb 08th 2009 the naughtiest dog breeds are

1. Beagles (Now who is surprised about this one!!)

2. Labrador

3. Boxer

4. Staffy

5. German Shepherd

6. Jack Russell

7. Maltese

8. Shar Pei

9. Cocker Spaniel

10. Kelpie/Cattle Dog

I don't know how much of this is due to the breed as the owners choosing the wrong breed!! All these dogs are very intelligent and perform extremely well once trained and given the right stimulation. Making sure your dog is suited to your lifestyle and has proper obedience training from a puppy will help you to not end up with a dog tha should be featured on this list!!